It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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