i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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