I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
