Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
