okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
