i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize