history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
