i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the condom got lost in my hair
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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