dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
no you cant smoke seaweed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
