quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
