Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
