some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i dont even know how to be here
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
