jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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