You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do vagina's smell?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
