is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
