You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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