Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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