so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
