That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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