So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
