Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
