I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize