I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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