I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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