i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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