after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
