Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
