; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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