I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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