i permit you to call me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
