need another drink. this is the easiest way
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
