PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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