i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I enjoy the company of your penis
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
