It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
