I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
