my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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