how can u be prego again
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish I only lived at night.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
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Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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