I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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