Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
