Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize