u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
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He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
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You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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