Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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