I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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