If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
