Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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