I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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