I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
