I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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