Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
