There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
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he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
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You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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