he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
