No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize