it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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