the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
