Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
