what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize