Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You made out with two different species that night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
