i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
