I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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