remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
