I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize