I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This is the high leading the old right now
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
