Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I need a beard to bite.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
