okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
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You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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