I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
