just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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