i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize