oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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