Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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