I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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