I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize